Deleted

Went to check in on everyone's favourite blog. It's gone! :(

Maybe some of the older, untouched ones could be scavenged somehow... who knows?

If not, it was fun while it lasted.

Review: The girl who kicked the hornets’ nest.

OK clench your buttcheeks people, this one was really fucking ridiculously stupid.

So stupid in fact I can just copy and paste it and it would be exactly like how I would parody it:

"I was captivated by The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
I was intrigued by The Girl who Played with Fire
I was disappointed and bored with The Girl who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest
Shame.
I was in fact so bored that I didn’t finish it, while I dislike leaving books unfinished I just couldn’t. I read about half of it, during which the main character lay in a hospital bed, talked to a lawyer once or twice and a woman changed jobs.
The main character’s father, is also in the hospital down the corridor, also not really doing much.
A shooting occurs, I assumed the story would pick up, but it didn’t.
I’m sure that some of you will disagree, say that the ending was the best, that it’s a fantastic end to the trilogy, but frankly nothing in the first half of the book inspired me to find out."

Just reflect on that. She calls this (yeah im breaking the fourth wall you cocksucking inebriated pedantic fucking cunts) a 'review':

re·view  

/riˈvyo͞o/

Noun A formal assessment or examination of something.

(Oh fuck, I just ate a watermelon flavoured skittle. Theyre horrible) Anyway, someone tell me where she was formally 'assessing' or 'examining' something, that something being this book. She said the first two were interesting, why didnt she develop on that?! Why didn't she use quotes to compare the excitement and dullness between the books?! I'm all for anyone writing reviews, but if you're going to do it, fucking do it properly. Be it Bastion, PrettyLights or Escape From Electric Mountain or even fucking Goatse, I don't care, just do it fucking right. Fuck off. Would you fuck a chick with a dick?

Happy Valentines Day

It's Valentines Day!

FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.
FUCK THE PAIN AWAY.

In case you're wondering, this one was just more typical mindless thoughtless bullshit.

Hello, I’m broke

You know when someone comes up to you and tries to have a one-ended conversation with you, and you really don't care about the discussion because they only talk about themselves, so you just nod and agree with the occasional 'yes', 'oh, really?' and 'mhmm'?

Well that's the entirety of my pathetic shitty blog, but it's also how i'm going to bore you to tears again today.

I have a decently paying job, and Premium Bonds (OH. MY. GOD. ASKING ABOUT YOUR PREMIUM BONDS IS SUCH A PAIN! LIKE, THE WOMAN WOULDNT TELL ME AND NOW I HAVE TO SIGN FORMS AND GET THE ANSWER IN 4 OR 6 WEEEEEEEEKKKKKSSSSS?!?!?!?! OH SHIIIET NIGGAH!) And I seem to believe that I need to save up for university, although i dont have to to that much of an extent since i will be getting a job inevitably by the time im there.

Also you should all care about the fact that I have a car, and THE M.O.T AND CAR TAX HAVE TO BE PAID AT THE SAME TIME WAAAAAAHH Even though that isn't particularly strenuous or difficult... At least it wouldnt be if I put some of my own money towards things i have to fucking pay.

So here's another question for all of my many followers, especially the 45 for Tyneside Upper Swanlington (the rich district of Damascus):
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Would You Fuck A Chick With A Dick?

I know I would! Leave your answer in the comments box below!

Interview

For all 251 of my readers in Nicacaguarabia (((A small shanty town off of Coventry)I know people read this there because Google Adsense tells me so)No, there is no such thing as Dynamic IP addresses) I have an interview at a university known as Bath.

I've already been to an interview before.
I've been to many.
I have impressed with my interview technique as can be seen by the fact that I have had more than one job in the past.
I have a set technique.
I know what I'm doing. I dont need anyone's help.
I know what questions they will ask.
I know how to answer them confidently.
But I digress:

OOOOH IM SO NERVOUS WHAT SHOULD I WEAR HUR DE FUCKING DURRRR!
I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO AND WEAR BUT ITS 'INFORMAL' WHICH APPARENTLY CHANGES THINGS?
IM ASKING PATHETICALLY RHETORICAL QUESTION BECAUSE I DONT REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!
IM SO NAIVE THAT I GENUINELY THINK THAT NO ONE WILL NOTICE MY GLOATING!

Tell me about your interview disasters! I'm not actually going to read them, I just have this fucking stupid idea that people

A. Will want to answer my questions
B. Will believe that a blogger trying to interact with the readers in desperate, shallow ways suddenly makes them more than some Two-Dimensional insufferable piece of shit

Awks.

The Austin Powers Effect

Someone, please

suck my fingers.

But only while i cry in the shower.

And only you, Daniel Craig.

Yeah baby yeah!

SALES!

ARGH OMG SALES

Are so annoying. Like, everything I say matters so much that you should sit there and read some stupid shit that makes no sense.

1. OMG SALES UGH!
2. Customers are total faggots, when i was an employee, the customers were mean to me.
3. Employees are total faggots, when i was a customer, the employees were mean to me.
4. THEY JUST DUMP SHIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOP
5. THIS IS THE SAME POINT AS POINT 4 BUT IM TOO FUCKING SELF OBSESSED TO NOTICE
6. Women say 'omg it's such a bargain!' I mean the great thing about sales is that you can find very appealing clothes for cheaper, but OMG SALES EWWWWW

Tune in next time, especially if Surrey over the pond!

(BTW MY AUTO CORRECT CHANGED MY INCORRECT SPELLING TO SURREY SO I THOUGHT ID LEAVE IT THERE LOL SO RANDUMB)